sesshyfanchick (sesshyfanchick) wrote in love_deathnote,

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LXNear Yaoi RATED: NC-17


"L's here."

With those simple words my world crashed.

My fingers began to shake, the cardboard puzzle piece fluttering between my thumb and index finger. My eyes widened.

L was here? What was he doing here on such short notice? He had barely left last week, what had caused him to come back so soon?

I took a deep breath. I had to remain calm, especially since Mello was still in the room with me. I looked up at the blond boy, his eyes slanted and mouth as thin as a line. I had to act normal, to do so otherwise would undoubtedly notch me down for position points. After all, this was a competition.

Mello stared at me, a piece of broken off chocolate dangling from between his pale lips. His black eyes were narrowed, yellow wisps of hair sticking to his face. We continued to stare at each other, silently challenging each other as if we were playing some ingenious game.

We were.

"L's mine!" Mello yelled and dashed off, heading out the door. I sat there for a few good seconds before I realized that Mello had taken off to go after L. I couldn't let him do that, I couldn't let Mello be the victor.

"He's not yours," I huffed and walked out through the door towards Mello's direction.


Why did it make me feel this way? To see Mello's arms wrapped around the slender waist of an insomniac with raven hair? Sure, the picture was unorthodox in itself but none of that mattered to me. Mello was in my territory now. No matter what, I wasn't going to lose to him.

'It's just a competition, surely I can win this,' I thought to myself.

I walked up slowly, albeit casually, glaring at Mello from the corner of my eyes. My fingers came up to curl around a lock of white hair, twisting and twirling as if there were no tomorrow.

"Near," L confirmed. I stood still. What was happening to me? Last week and the many weeks before that, I was perfectly fine when I was around L. Last week and before, it was all a competition; Mello and I versing off to take the rightful position of L's successor. But now, something was stirring up inside of me, a fluttering feeling which I did not like very much. It felt too foreign.

I simply nodded shyly. Mello withdrew his head from L's stomach, quirking an eyebrow in confusion at my quirky ways.

"What's up with you?" he asked, a bar of chocolate twiddling between his fingers as they were still wrapped around L's torso.

"Mello," L said calmly, looking down at him. He smiled at him, his bony fingers coming up to play with the strands of his shoulder length hair.

"Let's begin", he said and stalked off towards the front doors leading into the Wammy House.

I stared after them, my brow furrowing and my frown deepening. Where were they going? My anger and curiosity only fueled when Mello cocked his head to look at me and gave off a venomous smirk, his hand in L's. That truly infuriated me to no end. I didn't understand why, nor did I quite care at the moment but I was starting to feel something that I never felt before; something strange. Why was it that when I had seen L play with Mello's hair like that, it made me...mad? Was it perhaps that Mello now had the advantage to become L's successor?

I shook my head, ridding myself of the thought. I truly doubted it was that, something didn't feel right. All I knew was that I did not like it at all when Mello was that close to L, it should be me gripping onto his waist like that, me burying his face into L's holding L's slender hand.

I walked up the stone steps of the orphanage, back within its protective walls. My head hung dejectedly as I neared the door to my room, closing it shut as I set foot inside. My uncompleted puzzle was still lying in an assortment of pieces on the floor. Why did it hurt so much to think of what Mello and L were doing while behind those closed walls?


Maybe I was so engrossed on completing my puzzle that I didn't hear the creak of the door opening. Perhaps I was so lost in thought and concentration that I didn't hear the padding of feet on the carpet or when a hot breath breathed deeply over my shoulder.

"You're almost done," L's smooth voice erupted, startling me. I dropped the puzzle piece from my fingers and straightened up. L sure did have a strange way of presenting himself, although...the insomniac detective did have his quirks...many quirks.

My breath caught in my throat. L was leaning over me, his breath tickling the hairs on my neck. The sensation was so odd, so strange and unfamiliar...yet oddly pleasing.

"It's your turn now," L said and withdrew from his closeness. I hung my head, afraid of the heat starting to spread onto my cheeks. Why had I thought such ludicrous fantasies when L had said that? I had no idea what was happening, but I was starting to feel very much embarrassed that I would be thinking those sort of things. It made me wonder about myself; about my capabilities. A mere feeling, a shudder of emotion shouldn't be able to stir me up so. I was the successor in line to L's throne, I was supposed to be prepared, to know everything and anything when it came to troublesome problems. Was this a troublesome problem then? It didn't feel very troublesome though, oddly pleasing to say the least and rather awkward but not troublesome.

I sat there on the floor, neither of us speaking a word. The silence was so overbearing, so torturous that I was afraid that it would engulf me entirely. After a moment or two, I heard the shuffling of feet from behind me.

I turned my head. L was leaving, he was heading straight for the door, his shoulders hunched and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his tacky jean pants.

"Perhaps another time," he said softly and made to turn the doorknob.

"Uh!" I stood up, amazed at the idiotic sound that I had made. I had wanted to tell him to stop, to stay there with me for a while longer but I couldn't find any other words to voice it off. So instead, I had made such an odd noise that would probably make L think me a gluttonous fool. How degrading.

I walked over to him, slowly at first but then it quickly turned into a fast trot. I grabbed onto L's white shirt, my small fingers wrapping around the fabric; clutching onto it. My face was burrowed into L's abdomen, my white hair mussing against his body.

"Stay," I uttered. I looked up and had to fight from looking back down again. I was always amazed by L's beauty: his sharp features, big dark eyes and messy black hair that would be called "stylish" in todays modern culture.

L knelt down so that he was face to face with me. He pressed his forehead against my own, warm flesh meeting each other.

"Is that what you request?" L asked softly. He stared at me, emotionless voids suddenly brimming with quizzical life. L's penetrating gaze seemed to cut into me, making me fidget in nervousness under his intense stare. L was so close, closer than I would have ever imagined. I suddenly realized that I had been feeling these emotions all along, had been pining after L like how I was was carefully masked previously. I didn't know what those odd emotions were so I had thoughtlessly discarded the new emotions as if they were nothing but trash. Yet now, as I was faced with my current little seemed that it had just been redirected at me, hitting me squarely in the face.

'I want him,' I thought and did the unthinkable. I leaned forward and placed my lips upon L's. My eyes widened as I found them to be so intangibly soft; silky like kimono fabric. I was even more surprised that L had done nothing to retreat. He didn't back away or shrug me off like any normal person would do when a little boy suddenly kisses you on the lips, especially if you were practically an adult and weren't related in any way...but L was far from normal after all.

This was all new for me, so it would be right to say that I was a bit clumsy on the reaction, but I rather liked it and therefore continued. All the while, L had not flinched. And then, things changed. I felt L's lips part, a slippery wet tongue poking out to prod at my teeth. I was shocked to say in the least and I had absolutely no idea as to what he wanted, but by instinct I parted my mouth wider and let the foreign thing enter. I found my tongue touching L's.

L leaned in more, adding more pressure. At first, I didn't know what to do as I felt L's tongue inside me, swirling around and interlocking with my own,  but I got the hang of it as I moved my tongue about too. I had to try to match his movements.

It felt wonderful, unlike anything that I had ever felt before. It was sensual, pleasurable and downright lustful and the more we continued, the more heated it got...until L pulled away that is.

I was breathing heavily, my cheeks tinged with pink and my eyes a foggy gray. My lips were pink, swollen from our fervent kissing. L was breathing heavily as well, but he seemed to be more on the tame side of things. I was confused, a bit lost and disoriented and I couldn't get a good enough grip on my nerves to support and balance myself. I missed the warmth of his lips, but refrained of further complaint.

L stared at me, his eyes wide and speculant. It would seem af he were calculating something, deducing a certain aspect about myself as I stood fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. I had not at all wanted to stop what we were doing and I felt rather embarrassed that I was the one who had started it, but if L wanted to stop then I'd obey.

"L, I..." I hesitated. What was I supposed to say in a situation like this? Did I want more? I nodded to myself as if confirming something critically important. I definitely did want more, it had felt so...wonderful. Even more exciting than building Gundam Models!

L brought his hand up, the flesh of his fingers gently caressing the sides of my face. He brushed a lone lock of my silver hair to the side.

"I supposed you liked that?" L asked casually, his black orbs averting towards other places. I gulped.

The question was just so blunt that I thought I couldn't possibly muster the courage to answer it. I should have been more prepared. L was always very blunt and straight to the point when voicing his opinion.

"I'm 90 percent sure now," L continued, his voice low and soft. I wondered at his statement. L was being a bit vague, as usual, but I pretty much figured what he meant by it. After all, I did belong to the prominent Wammy House where the gifted and most talented children resided. I was competing against Mello for the rightful place of L's successor!

"I just need the other 10 percent," L said, pressing his forehead to mine. I stiffened. I knew what L was prying at, I knew it clearly: L wanted me to confess,  to voice what I truly wanted. I sighed, my shoulders hunched. I suppose I couldn't avoid it.

I was the first to make the move. I leaned in closer, tenderly placing my lips upon L's. They were even softer than before. L simply smiled and I felt it. L smiled; that meant he was enjoying it or at least somewhat happy with my advances. That little thought alone made me feel all the more confident and it got me thinking. This is what I wanted, I wanted to be closer to L than anyone else, definitely more than Mello.

Besides, with my new found knowledge on where I stood in the world when it came to L, I already knew that Mello only wanted L in a way as a prize, so that he could be the victor over me. I... wanted L in a totally different way, something that went way more deeper than just the average kindred feeling.

I shivered when I felt the soft caress of L's hands, gently brushing over my face and down my neck. We were kissing slowly but passionately, tongues dipping in and out of each other, tasting one another. L had tasted of everything sweet, mostly strawberries. I didn't doubt that he would taste this way because of all the delectable sweet snacks he ate. I thought I could pretty much get used to the taste of strawberries from now on, even though I didn't like sweets much.

L was gentle, trailing soft kisses down my throat, nipping lightly at my flesh. The sensations L was giving me were indescribable, like electric fire coursing through my veins. I wanted more and I didn't want to let those wonderful feelings leave.

"Ah," I whimpered. L looked up, a bit surprised at the sound that had slipped out of my mouth. For a moment longer he continued to stare at me with his black orbs before he tilted his head and began kissing down my neck again.

L suddenly stood up, leaving me a confused heap on the ground. I stared up at him, finally realizing how tall the raven haired beauty really was. I felt tiny compared to him, that probably had to do with the fact that I was well...much, much younger than he was.

I felt myself being lifted. L had wrapped his slender arms around my small waist and heaved me up so that I was pressed against his chest, my legs wrapped around his waist and my pale hands clutching at the nape of L's shirt. He inclined his head and continued to kiss me from there on, prying my lips open. It seemed that he didn't want to stop just yet.

Before I knew it, I was being lain down on my bed, my legs and arms sprawled in different directions while I tried to catch my breath. I felt the bed shift as L scrambled on top of it.

He crept his way up towards me, his knees on either side of my hips, straddling me. His glossy hair fell into his eyes, making him look all the more beautiful. I could only gape and wonder how I had wound up with this.

I didn't know why he gotten on top of me like that nor why he had suddenly stilled himself and began to speculate me as if I were some sort of science experiment. I suddenly began to grow nervous, faint tremors rushing through my body. What was he going to do to me? Was this even right? Even I had the slight knowledge that what we were doing was absolutely restricted, the ultimate of taboo's but I found myself not worrying for once. I didn't care because L was always right, he made me feel safe. As long as I was with him I didn't have to worry on the consequences. Besides, even if we did get caught he'd probably think up of some ingenious plan to get us out of whatever punishment they threw at us.

I stared up at L, trying to search for a flint of emotion that would give way to what he was thinking or feeling at the moment. Of course, I couldn't find any. It was always hard to guess what L was thinking since he was so reclusive and very much kept to himself. There was probably no one on earth who could think exactly the same way as L thought, that I was sure of and for some reason it made me swell with a bit of pride: to know that I had something so ethereal and ingenious all to myself.

Both of his hands were pressed into the sheets of my bed, each of his fingers twiddling with the dense fabric of the blankets. I gazed at them, surprised at how long and nimble they were. It was quiet, too quiet, save for the faint sound of our breaths slowly inhaling and exhaling. I squinted my eyes, averting them towards the beige of the walls. I didn't want to look at him, I didn't want to see what expression he might have on.

"Near," he voiced, his monotone voice low and husky. I didn't respond, my eyes still trying to hide themselves from his speculant stare. I placed a hand over my chest, my fingers clutching the cotton material of my shirt. If I started panicking, then my heart would beat faster and that would ultimately lead to something far more disastrous.

"Near," he called once again, the tone in his voice more demanding. I gulped when I felt a familiar warmth spread across my face, the presence of body heat that wasn't mine blocking the chilled air from scratching against my face. He had leaned down, his face mere inches away from mine. He was calm, steady and collected. If he were nervous or hesitant he sure knew how to hide it well. His demeanor was flawless.

I couldn't help but flush at his closeness, my cheeks tinging with the faintest of red. I tried to look away, tried with all my might but I couldn't. I found myself staring back into those black voids, the darkness threatening to consume me. His face had its usual quirk expression etched on, his eyes wide and searching.

"You are too young," he whispered and made to leave but my hand stopped him. I clutched onto the sleeves of his shirt, stopping him from further retreat. He couldn't leave now, not when he was so close, not when I was so close. My mind traveled back to Mello.

I wonder what he had done with him? My mind began churning, the mechanical gears bidding to my every whim. Was it possible that what L had done to Mello was what he was doing to me now? I didn't know why, but I felt betrayed by the thought. It would just mean that I meant nothing, that he treated me equally against Mello.

I didn't want to be equal. I wanted to be more, more than Mello could ever be. I could just imagine them now. L kissing and licking his tongue against Mello's flesh, the both of them exchanging petulant swaps of saliva. The thought nearly made my blood boil, but I remained calm.

"I only asked questions," L disrupted me from my jealous thoughts. I looked back up at him, liking the way his hair fell in front of his eyes. What questions?

"I know what you're thinking, Near," L continued, his voice low and unmarred. "I only asked Mello questions inquiring toward his detective skills, so you can rest at ease." I was quite shocked that he could read my mind so easily, but I didn't show it. I forgot how smart he was when it came to figuring out how other peoples minds worked.

I felt the gentle brush of his fingers glide across the sides of my face. I shivered at the brief touch.

"Mm," I murmured, my eyes squinting.

"I will not go all the way," L breathed softly, his breath heating my cheeks. "You are far too young to take it all." My body was jittery, my skin crawling with a tickling sensation. It felt as if I were on fire, some places even more heated than others. I began fidgeting when a heated warmth began pooling its way below my abdomen. It felt odd, surreal and strange and I liked it. It felt different and new and I just wanted more.

Out of instinct I bucked my hips, my fingers clutching onto his shirt. By now I was probably as red as a tomato.

L simply let out a tiny smile and kissed my cheek, then lowered his body over mine. He kissed his way around my eyes, gliding his tender kisses across my forehead , atop my nose, down both of my cheeks and finally my mouth. They were so soft, his lips. So soft that I wanted them to cover me; cover me entirely.

I picked up some techniques from when we first kissed, so I didn't have much trouble with it this time. Our tongues ravaged each other, darting in and out and swirling around as if we were terribly hungry for one another.

"Mm," I whimpered, my voice muffled by his mouth. He withdrew from me, a fine line of saliva dripping from our mouths. He took a moment to look at me before I felt his hands fiddle with the buttons of my white shirt. I let him, waiting for him to un-button it till the very bottom. He didn't take it off, just merely left it open so that my back and arms were still draped, save for my exposed chest and torso.

The chilly air wasn't as cold as before, as my body was more heated due to our feverish kissing. I felt him travel down my chest, planting wet kisses down my stomach.

I arched in response, the pool of fire growing into something more serious. I was burning, the front of my pants getting tighter. What was happening? Never in my life had I felt like this before. The sensations were new and wild and I couldn't help but to succumb to them.

"Ah," I mewled, my back arching. I felt L smile against my flesh, continuing with his kissing. He began to nibble and lick at my skin, my nerves racking hysterically in response. It just felt too good. I was trembling, the need growing below my waist. I didn't know what to do, I felt helpless. The sensation kept nagging at me, ordering me to do something with it, but I didn't have a clue as to what to do.

"Ahh," I gasped, as he neared my belly button, pink tongue encircling around it like a halo. I was really burning up, trying to refrain myself from gasping heavily.

I nearly screamed when I felt him kiss me...down there through the fabric. I never even knew it could stick up like that.

I didn't fidget or panic when I felt his cold hands gripped the elastic around my pants and gently slid them off, removing them completely to discard them upon the ground. I was left in my boxers, an unfamiliar bump poking against the fabric.

L placed his hand on that bump, stroking gently in an up and down motion.

"Ah!!" I yelped, my hips thrusting upwards. I couldn't control myself, I felt as if I were about to explode. I gasped as I felt his cold fingers grip the elastic around my boxers, pulling them down over my legs and off. They were merely discarded haphazardly on the bed.

I was naked, trembling and flushed. I stared down at my self, amazed at my reaction. I knew about the hormones of a man, but this...I never realized that I too would be able to feel those hormones. I was erect, full and hearty. It was amazing.

"Ahh..." I started at the feel of L's hands, stroking gently upon my erection. He continued that for a few moments, each stroke springing me to life. I leaned in against him, desperate for more. He kept on at it, stroking and rubbing so tenderly that I had to bite my lip from screaming. The pre-cum had already started to show itself.

"Ah, L," I breathed, my legs spreading wider. L stopped his stroking, leaning over me. His erection rubbed against mine, making me squirm for more. I found myself disappointed that his clothes were still on.

"What do you want, Near?" he asked lowly, his breath hot on my skin. I shivered, the feel of my erection pressing against his driving me mad.

"More," I whispered. "More, L. Please, more..." I cringed at the sound of myself. I had never been the one to beg, plead or whine. I simply didn't benefit from it...but was entirely different. I was with L. I saw him smile briefly, then he went lower and lower and lower...

"A-ah!" I gasped, the feel of his wet mouth now over my throbbing erection. I felt his tongue twirl against the tip, gliding against me. He sucked at a steady rhythm, at first slow and smooth but then later he started to go faster. The pressure was building within me, threatening to explode. It felt so good, so freaking good. I wanted to let go, to lose myself, but I managed to hold on. I wanted to experience these sensations forever, I didn't want to lose them.

"Ohh..." I breathed, my legs spreading even wider. I thrusted when he sucked, I moaned when his tongue swirled around my throbbing erection...basically I reacted to everything he did to me. Then, he did the most brutal thing he could do when one was on an ecstasy induced over-load...he rubbed against my balls.


I lost it, coming into his mouth. He didn't cringe or anything, not even back away. He removed his mouth from around me, visible white droplets dripping from the corner of his mouth. I felt even more naked when his mouth left me, missing the feeling of hot velvet.

I crashed my head against the soft blanket of my bed, my chest heaving. My cheeks were flushed, my face red and hot...and I still had my legs spread open.

He straddled me again, leaning down to place a heated kiss upon my lips. His tongue twirled with mine, exploring the caverns of my mouth. I tasted salty. He withdrew from the kiss, leaving me gasping and breathless. He was breathing heavily too, his cheeks tinged the faintest of pinks. His hair was messy, plastered all about his face like a wilted flower. He looked calmly wild.

"Near," he breathed, placing his forehead against the crook of my neck. I shuddered at his closeness. We were still too warm.

"L," I stared, my voice tiny and mute. "What" He picked his head up, his large black eyes wide and probing.

"What about me?" he asked calmly. I blushed, trying to look from under him. I wanted him to get my point, so I tried to move my eyes towards the direction of his lower abdomen, but he still didn't budge. He placed his forehead back between the crook of my neck, shaking his head. His hair tickled my face.

He then withdrew from me, sitting himself to the side of my body. I felt exposed and suddenly self conscious, now that he was no longer on top of me. I stretched out my arms, trying to reach over to my pajama bottoms, but was stopped when L interfered.

He wrapped his long arms around my waist, sliding me over. He sat me in between his criss-crossed legs. I shivered at his touch, the shirt fabric gliding over my exposed skin. We sat like that for a few long moments, just thinking to ourselves. His nimble fingers glided over my stomach, tapping their merry way along my skin as if dancing to invisible music. He then leaned down, resting his chin upon my shoulder. He kissed my neck sweetly, rubbing his lips along my skin. He grinned.

"We can save that for later."
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